The Office: An American Crime Scene
by Toby97
Summary: Premise: Someone has murdered Charles Miner in The Warehouse, and everyone has a motive. Was it Michael? Dwight? Jim? Pam? Erin? Kelly? Ryan? Holly Flax? The following passages are talking head interviews from all possible suspects surrounding Charles Miner's murder. The interviews are conducted by newly appointed NYPD D.I and former Dunder Mifflin employee, Jan Levenson.
1. Chapter 1: Darryl

The Office: An American **crime scene**

**Rating: K+**

**Premise:** Someone has murdered Charles Miner in The Warehouse, and everyone has a motive. Was it Michael? Dwight? Jim? Pam? Erin? Kelly? Ryan? Darryl? The following passages are talking head interviews from all possible suspects surrounding Charles Miner's murder. The interviews are conducted by newly appointed NYPD D.I and former Dunder Mifflin employee, Jan Levenson.

**Chapter 1: **Darryl's Discovery.

**Jan**: Tell me how you found the body and how you felt upon discovery?

**Darryl**: It was surreal, when I found him there, just lying on the stone cold floor, lifeless, breathless, with blood pouring out of his head by the gallon load. The same floor that was once shared by my fellow warehouse workers, so much joy, that was once shared on this floor, destroyed, crumbled into a million pieces. It makes me sad knowing that someone who I once worked with could be so selfish to take someone's life, and take lots of people's joy.

When I saw him, he was lying face-down, with blood pouring out the back of his head, so I suspect that he was struck with a blunt object from the back.

_Darryl starts getting noticeably sweaty and tears start streaming down his face, showing obvious discomfort. _

**Jan: **Do you know of any possible blunt objects in the warehouse at the time that was small enough to leave a dent in Charles Miner's skull but blunt enough to kill him?

**Darryl: **What kind of question is that? The most harmful object we have in our warehouse is a box of paper, why the hell would I know about any murder weapon?

**Jan: **It was just a simple question, Mr. Philbin, please calm down. Were you very close to Charles Miner?

**Darryl: **Not really, I know that he was hired as a new vice president of sales in the north-east region, so he was an Office worker, and I don't really hang around with those kinda people.

**Jan:**_(looking concerned) _…So you didn't get along very well?

**Darryl: **No! No! We didn't not get along either. I just never spoke to him, it's how it works with everyone in The Office, Michael, Oscar, Pam, even the douche in the sweater-vest who is ALWAYS singing.

**Jan: **That's odd, when I worked at Dunder Mifflin, I was always respected and popular among the warehouse staff.

_Darryl looks at the camera looking confused. _

**Jan: **But anyway, let's get back on subject, I understand you have a close relationship with, James Halpert, often referred to as Jim, correct?

**Darryl:** Well our friendship was a bit rocky when he tried stealing Pam off Roy, but when we went out for a beer, he's cool. So yeah, I guess you could call us friends.

**Jan: **And what about Toby Flenderson, the HR representative?

**Darryl: **Kind of a strange dude, but he brought a doll for his daughter off me for $400, so he seems pretty cool.

**Jan: **I also understand you had a romantic relationship with the customer service representative, Miss. Kelly Kapoor, from October 2007 till November 2008, correct? Would you mind telling me about it?

**Darryl: **That is correct, Um, kinda weird request, but sure. I don't think Kelly ever thought of our relationship as anything serious, and used me to make her ex, Ryan Howard, jealous. But whenever I blew her off to spend time with my daughter, Jada, she would go crazy.

**Jan: **Well, she seems to differ. According to a close source, when she was asked about your 13-month relationship, we have on record as to her saying "_Oh my god, Darryl Philbin is sooo hot! We have so much chemistry and we are not only the hottest couple in Scranton, but probably in America, even hotter than J Lo & Marc Anthony, Beyonce & Jay-Z, even THE OBAMAS!_"

_Darryl begins getting even more sweaty and nervous and becomes very defensive. _

**Jan: **Now, according to our criminal record of you, you have a history of gang violence, correct?

**Darryl:**...Uh...Well...Yeah, that was a...uh... yeah, but why does any of this even matter!? Are you accusing me of the murder? it wasn't me. How dare you assume that of me!

_Darryl looks down in shame knowing he has done something wrong, and Jan looks from the other side of the table, looking extremely smug._

**Jan: **Mr. Philbin, in this interview, you have contradicted yourself by saying you have no relations with any office workers, when you openly admit you are friends with two of them and had a _(Jan picks up the tape recorder and emphasises) _13-month relationship with an Office worker, you have a history of violence, and killing someone who your ex-girlfriend is openly interested in makes perfect sense with someone of your aggression and anger. There was no security footage at this moment, and as you are the foreman, you must be responsible in some capacity. So that leaves me with no other option to keep you in custody until more evidence emerges.

_Darryl openly breaks down in shame and disappointment and is then escorted to his cell. As he is walking down the hall, he sees his daughter walking round the corner to visit her grandmother in prison, he shouts her name and she soon recognises his voice and immediately runs towards him, but Justine, Jada's mom, soon grabs her and takes her away. She quietly whispers in Jada's ear what her father is in here for, and her face drops. She takes one more look at Darryl in disgust over how he could do such a thing, and continues to walk around the corner. Darryl is then last seen being locked up, and Jan erratically yelling at someone "**Bring the next target in..."**_


	2. Chapter 2: Kelly

The Office: An American **crime scene**

**Chapter 2: **Kelly

**Jan: **Ms Kapoor, where were you the night Charles Miner was murdered?

**Kelly: **I was watching Greys Anatomy, and oh my god, Justin Chambers is SO hot! Don't you think?

_Jan is getting noticeably irritated by Kelly's confidence and complete disregard over how much trouble she could be in._

**Jan: **Kelly, let me make this extremely clear; before we move on, you cannot speak about anything other than the murder of Charles Miner, do you understand!?

_Kelly is taken aback over Jan's sudden strict attitude. _

**Kelly: **Yes,I apologise.

**Jan: **Good, I'm glad we finally understand each other.

**Jan: **Now you were very fond of Charles Miner, weren't you?

**Kelly: **Oh, definitely! Though he treated me like I didn't even exist.

**Jan: **That must of made you very angry and frustrated?

**Kelly: **I guess.

**Jan: **Do you think there is any chance you might of, I don't know, hit him with something?

**Kelly: **Oh, god, no! I'm not a very violent person.

**Jan: **Really? Have you had a violent background?

**Kelly: **Absolutely not.

**Jan: **Well we have your criminal record, and it seems to me you do.

_Kelly starts to look worried and confused_

**Jan: **You were the one who vandalised, Mr. Ryan Howards car, correct?

**Kelly: **Uh... Yeah, but that was only because he was cheating on me and I got super angry! Why does any of this even matter?

_Jan, getting very angry over Kelly sticking up for herself. She shouts:_

**Jan: **DON'T YOU DARE RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME LIKE THAT!

**Jan: **Charles Miner was a good man, and someone has killed him, and you are a suspect, how dare you raise your voice at me when I have just proven that you have a violent background.

**Kelly: **I am so sorry, but I didn't kill him, I swear.

**Jan: **Now, why don't you tell me about the last time you saw Charles Miner.

**Kelly: **It was the Friday before he died, In my lunch break, I saw him alone in the break room, and I tried talking to him.

**Jan: **Tell me how that conversation went.

_The following is a transcript of the last conversation shared by Ms Kelly Kapoor & the now deceased, Charles Miner._

_**Kelly: **Hey Charles! Can I sit with you?_

_**Charles: **Uh, yeah, sure..._

_**Kelly: **Cool. What are you reading?_

_**Charles: **Scranton Times._

_**Kelly: **Cool. What have you got planned for tonight?_

_**Charles: **Uh, nothing planned. Why?_

_**Kelly: **Just wondering. Charles are you married._

_**Charles: **Listen, Kelly, I am not interested in what you are trying to do. I can tell that you are into me, but I simply don't find you attractive, I don't think you're smart, I just don't like you. Please, go away and leave me alone and get back to your work._

_**Kelly: **But... I thought you liked me?_

_**Charles: **Why the hell would you think that?_

_**Kelly: **Well... Because... remember that night?_

_**Charles: **What night?_

_**Kelly: **When we made love!_

_**Charles: **What! wait... you actually thought that was serious? HA HA HA! That meant nothing. Go away, now Kelly._

**Jan: **Wow, that must have been hard.

**Kelly: **It was.

**Jan: **Do you think he is the father of your unborn child?

_Kelly looking startled and surprised. _

**Kelly: **What? I am not pregnant.

**Jan: **Before you came in, you did a urine test, correct?

**Kelly:** Yeah.

**Jan: **We do these tests to find out if the suspect is drunk or taken in large amounts of drugs,so they don't give false information. Well, your test shows that you are 1 month pregnant. And I think you know that.

**Kelly: **Wait what? I didn't know I was pregnant!

**Jan: **I don't believe you. What I believe is that you killed Charles Miner because he didn't want anything to do with your baby & he didn't like you. You killed him because he tipped you over the edge and you were scared.

**Kelly: **What, no! Jan you got this completely wrong!

_Kelly tries convincing Jan she is wrong whilst Jan talks completely over her._

**Jan: **Based on all this evidence, I am also going to keep you in custody until more evidence emerges.

_Jan talks to the body guard_

**Jan: **Take her away boys.

_Kelly is taken away to her cell, hysterically crying over the fact that she is going to be a single Mom in prison. As she is escorted to her cell, she sees Darryl also locked up, and realises that Jan is out to get the Dunder Mifflin employees in trouble. But it's too late, she is already locked up in her cell, completely powerless. She then over hears **Jan **cackling and announcing "**I love my job!**"_


	3. Chapter 3: Erin (Part I)

The Office: An American **crime scene**

**Chapter 3: **Erin

**Jan: **Ms. Erin Hannon! I don't believe we have met, I am sure you know that my name is detective chief inspector, Jan Levenson.

**Erin: **Wow! What a unique name! Now I think about it, I would love to have been named 'Detective' Were you named after anyone?

**Jan:**... Oh god.

**Erin: **God? Wow, I really need to read the bible more.

**Jan: **Enough! You are as ditzy as your friend, Kelly Kapoor!

**Erin: **Yeah... Well... ex-friend...

**Jan: **Excuse me?

**Erin: **Oh! Nothing...

**Jan: **Uh, ok... It is my understanding you were the new girl of The Office?

**Erin: **Oh my God! That was my nickname! And I love the show!

**Jan: **Ok... and with Regional Manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, Michael Scott, absent, Mr. Miner hired you? Correct?

**Erin: **That is correct, Mam.

**Jan: **How did your interview with Mr. Miner go?

_Erin begins looking slightly confused and worried._

**Erin: **Yeah, it went ok I guess.

**Jan: **And you had not met or even heard of Mr. Miner prior to your interview, correct?

**Erin:**...Uh... I can't remember... I don't think so.

_Jan leans in on a close up on Erin's face._

**Jan: **Y'know, when you are in this business, long enough, you begin to start knowing the players, you pick up on people's weaknesses, their strengths, what they do when they are nervous, what they do when they are confident. Another one of those instincts is being able to tell one someone is lying. And I think that is exactly what you are doing! _Jan starts going crazy and shouting _NOW TELL ME. WHERE HAVE YOU SEEN CHARLES MINER BEFORE?

_Erin screams hysterically_

**Erin: **I DIDN'T KNOW HIM I SWEAR!

_Jan slaps Erin across the face in rage and frustration_

**Jan: **TELL ME THE TRUTH!

**Erin: **I SWEAR I AM NOT LYING!

**Jan: **Really!? Well explain THIS picture then!

_Jan slides three photographs of Charles Miner walking into a motel at 11:30 at night, the second picture spots Erin walking into the same room at 12:30am. A third photograph then sees Erin walking out of the room at 5:30am, implying she spent the night with Charles. The photographs were taken three weeks prior to Erin becoming receptionist._

**Jan: **Now, in a calm way, tell me, if you did not know Mr. Charles Miner, then why are there pictures of you walking into the same motel room?

_Jan starts to stare intensely at Erin with a smug look on her face._

**Erin:**...Ok, fine... Y'want the truth? Me and Charles were involved in a three-month love affair. I felt our relationship wasn't going anywhere any more after about six weeks of dating. I was planning on calling it off, but this was when I had just quit my job and was worried that I wouldn't be able to keep up with the bills. Charles always looked after me, he would buy me flowers, help me out, financially and just be there for me. But it turned out that it wasn't about what he did for me, its what I couldn't give for him, which was nothing but sex. That's when I realised that all he wanted from me was a bit of fun, treating me like I was his bit on the side. And, I guess, I was. That is kinda the reason we didn't tell anyone about our affair, he told me he was married, but wasn't in love with his wife any more and was planning on divorcing her. I stayed in that relationship until I got the receptionist job, so I could break it off and have a job.

**Jan: **When did you end your relationship end?

**Erin: **It didn't... I couldn't find the nerve to break up with him while he was still in Mr. Scott's office...

**Jan: **Do you happen to know who his wife is?

**Erin:** Uh, no... Why?

**Jan: **Would you like to meet her?

**Erin:** I don't think that would be very appropriate, after what I just told you.

**Jan: **Too late. It turns out you have already met her – turns out she is sitting on the other side of this table.

_It takes about five seconds for Erin to realise that Jan was the wife all along, and there are a few seconds of awkward silence when Erin is confused as to what to say..._

**Erin: **Oh. My. God.

**Jan:**... Yeah. So as ADORABLE as that story is about the gold-digging, husband stealing, bimbo was – It turns out you are now a prime suspect in this trial, and we have no other option to keep you in custody until we complete our investigation.

**Erin: **Wait! Why? I don't even have a motive?

**Jan: **Oh, I think you do. You mentioned at the beginning of this interview that a Miss. Kelly Kapoor was your 'ex-friend' implying that there was a time that you were friends with her, yet it seems to me that you might have stopped this friendship when you found out that she was now pregnant with Charles Miner's baby an...

_Erin quickly interrupts _

**Erin: **WHAT!? Kelly is pregnant with Charles' baby!? Oh. My. God. Honestly Jan, I had no idea. Me and Kelly fell-out because she stopped retweeting me on Twitter.

**Jan: **To be quite honestly with you, Erin, I couldn't care less about your twitter account, all that I am bothered about is making sure the tart that stole my husband from me goes down for this murder.

**Erin:** You can't be serious!? That is a huge conflict of interest Jan.

**Jan: **Be quiet, you don't know what you are talking about you silly little girl.

_Addresses a police officer_

**Jan: **Can you take this one down to the cell with Ms. Kapoor please?

**Erin: **WHAT!? Jan please don't do this, I am so sorry. PLEASE find it in your soul to forgive me!

**Jan: **No! I want to see you two fight to the death. It'll teach you not to mess around with other people's husbands.

_To Be Continued..._


End file.
